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Don't Judge Me [+18]

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Don't Judge Me [+18]

Mensagem por CatariinaG' em Sab Dez 01, 2012 9:14 pm

Hello, longshot em Inglês!
+18 - linguagem e SMUT

Personagens:
- Tom Hiddleston;
- Mafalda;
- Lindsey

Chapter 1
Damn this rain had no point of starting neither had finish line.
It was raining for almost 2 hours nonstop, now.
It was freaking cold and an absolutely horrible storm outside.
Could see the rain splashing on the windowsill, it didn’t stop at all, so I had to cancel my date, my first one in one year, now. «It wasn’t worth it», exactly what my heart said when I saw it was going to start to rain all over my shiny, shiny day. I was a little bit sick, so it was, honestly, best for me to stay home and watch a nice movie, eat some popcorn and cuddle myself inside some really hot blanket. Had no one to cuddle with since me and my boyfriend broke it off, two years ago, remaining friends, just friends.
I got the DVD case from the right up shelf and opened it, wrong DVD… Bourne Legacy on the Avengers DVD case… it wasn’t me who put it there, probably one of those stupid pranks one of my best friend made while helping me moving in to that apartment.
Finally found the DVD I was looking for. I put it on the DVD reader and got back to the kitchen to take the popcorns off the microwave, I could only smell the hot butter… Yumi!
Just when I was about to put the hot water on a cup to make my favorite tea, the doorbell rang. I looked behind me to see my living room in an enormous mess…
“Oh, damn it!”
Who on earth was bugging me on that hour of the night? 11pm on a Friday… I was probably the only one on my friends group who didn’t really like to go out. I walked off to the door side but no one appeared on the monitor.
“I seriously don’t want to go out tonight.” I said with my coughing voice.
“Neither do I… open the door, please!”
I heard that voice, and got shaken by it…
“Come up!” I said.
I waited for him to come up, and few seconds after he was near the door knocking on it.
“Where did you get those trousers?” he asked when I opened the door.
“Primark… Where did you get that face?”
“Lindsay…”
“Cool…” I walked back to the living room leaving the door slightly opened just for him to enter and close it afterwards. I looked at him again, just to make sure of what I was going to say next.
He looked terrible; it wasn’t like him to be around my house in the middle of the night while raining outside. He looked pale and his shirt was soaking wet, and his face, above everything, was different and not smiley has always. Something had happened, but I wasn’t going to ask it right then, he was dripping wet, had to get a towel from the bathroom before he got a cold, and blamed me for it.
I walked down to the white and black themed tiny bathroom. Taking a towel off the wardrobe, I felt a little shiver when I remembered what he first said when he got inside. Something had happened to or with Lindsay, and I wouldn’t even dare to put my finger on it before he spoke first about it. We were best friends, that kind of best friends who had a tiny little crush on each other in the wrong time, in the wrong hour, after all he got over it long ago, I didn’t, and even know he had no idea about it, or even if he just pretended that he didn’t know, as I told him before, I wanted to last as his best friend, better having him as a friend than him as nothing.
“Sorry about the mess, I was wat-…”
“The Avengers…” he completed the sentence. “How many times have you watched this?” he asked with the DVD case on his hands while waiting for my approval to sit down on the couch.
“6 times, probably… Anyway, have this…” I said handing him the towel.
“Thank you, dearest…” he faked a smile.
“Don’t bother with forged smiles, Tom… Outside my apartment you can act just as you want, but in here, leave the act behind…” I said jumping to the sofa to take the mess out of it.
I took the brown fake fur blanket and looked at it…
“We may need this tonight, err…” I looked to my friend.
Thomas wasn’t a strange to me.
We knew each other for about 5 years now. We were 10 years age apart; he was clearly older than me… Looks and mature, even though he acted like a little boy sometimes. How I loved his little childish performance… We were the best of friends acting like little children just as if we missed the times we had nothing to fear and to do, missing the years when we only had to worry about homework, friends, plays and nothing else.
Well, to be honest, we didn’t like each other when we met, to be even truthful he hated me and I hated him right back on his ass.
He was an arrogant prick, prepared-to-be-an-awesome-English actor.
I was a childish, think-that-knows-it-all, Portuguese wannabe writer. Back then I wasn’t much of a writer, I’m still not… I was a little kid with dreams, a hand full of grayish, foolish, idiotic, superfluous, senseless, unwise dreams, who thought the world was against everything single thing she did. And he was this awful creature with blondish, bluish-greenish eyes boy, with the same sweet-heart for over a decade now, a truly cute boy with a pure English accent… he gather everything I most hated in a man! Everything!
He had those eyes and that face and that hair… lord! God gave him too much of his fair share of beauty, the guy wasn’t beautiful, he was damn perfect, and I hated him for that.
God could have saved a little of that beauty and give it to me 10 years later.
Of course God didn’t care about my appearance, neither did I, as it seemed the day I met my best friend. I was late to my IELTS exam, and with the running and trying to eat something while, I nearly got killed by a car… his car! I stopped right on the zebra-cross and gazed to the idiot who was behind me in a mini-cooper. I looked to him and furrowed my eyebrows in an awful stare. He asked me if I was okay, I just ended up showing my middle-finger and started to run away again.
The next day I could feel my legs hurting from the almost-crash with that idiot blond English car guy when I went to this beautiful and snob party invited by my niece, who just had become the leader actress on a Othello play… and for my surprised, the idiot was the party hostess, invited by my own niece who knew his own sister.
We didn’t talk… we almost smacked each other!
“So, Lindsay is out of the country and is already breaking dishes…” I started when I realized that my soaked up friend wasn’t going to talk anyways.
“It would be easier for me if she just broke my French porcelain dishes set…”
I looked up to his face when he started talking.
There he was, this beautiful man, with 32 years old, who every single person in the world thought to be full of confidence and charm, making this awful strength not to cry his eyeballs out, soaking wet in rain water. From inside my apartment we could hear the terrible storm outside, one other thing I could never expect from that man, only when I was really sad or needing for something, he never dared to leave his own home when rainstorms appear in London. Something needed to be really wrong for him to be there, at that time, near me, soaking wet and crying with no plain explanation.
“Take off those cloths.” I said walking to my bedroom. “I’ll give you one of David’s shirts…”
David was my ex-boyfriend, who was married to Ivana, a girl that both I and Tom hated. He would always forget his cloths around when we were together, and I had this famous mania of saving every single forgotten jumper from every friend I had around the house.
I walked down to my bedroom and lighted it up.
My bed wasn’t made and there was a big mess around the floor with shorts and jumpers and shirts, I couldn’t be bother to clean that up, I wasn’t expecting guests that hour of the night. I went directly to my closet and opened up the first drawer where all jumpers belonged, and smiled to myself picking up one that wasn’t from David, but from Tom himself. He had left it there when he picked me from the restaurant, when David broke-off with me long before marrying Ivana. It wasn’t raining that night, but somehow it felt like everything was sodden in my own tears. Tom stopped at Waitrose, in the middle of the night, and bought this huge box of Häagen Daz cheesecake ice-cream, then took me home, and we ended up cuddling on the white sofa where he was right now shivering with cold and crying with his hands on his eyes and his face buried on his knees.
“Hey, you are wetting my expensive couch…”
He lifted his head and smirked while making puppy eyes.
“Fine! It’s from IKEA… but it was me who bought it…”
He looked at me again.
“Ok, David bought it… But still, you are… Oh damn you, can’t handle that puppy look!”
I threw him the jumper, a shirt and some boxers.
“Dress that up!” I said.
He smiled back at me, shrugged his tears with his soft hand and stood up.
I could almost feel the pain he was feeling. Looking at him I could almost dare to say that I just wanted to kiss all that freaking pain away and to tell him everything would be fine… And hoped God Lindsay didn’t die, because if she did…
My heart trembled with the thought of her dead.
Lindsay was one of my best friends, I was the one presenting them, unfortunately for me, he was in love with me back then that first day they’ve met, but I walked off saying I wasn’t in the mood to have a serious relationship with a much older guy. How I regret that now! When I looked back at him, he’s chest was bare naked and he had no longer trousers on his legs, only Calvin Klein black tight boxers remained on him. I shrived and forgot all about what I was thinking about. For a moment I realized I was biting my lip imagining him all over me, kissing me while laying down on be, me on top of him taking all of his pain away.
“Thanks!” he said. “You’re a sweetheart.” He said throwing his jacket on the floor.
Finally I woke off. I gazed at him and waited for him to put his dry jumper on and headed to the kitchen.
“I made popcorn…”
“Sure you did…” I heard.
“Want some?”
“No… Thank you, honey. I’ll take a cup of tea, if it’s not trouble for you…”
“Well, if it’s trouble, bring your lazy butt here and make it yourself!” I laughed.
Not even a sight of him. In a normal day, Tom would jump to the kitchen and start making me tickles for saying such things as «lazy butt».
“Lord, she must have broken your Swarovski glass set too…” I said pouring hot water on a Harry Potter cup and a Loki one, the last one offered by my nieces who knew well enough that I loved that movie.
When I got back to the living room with a bucket full of popcorn and the two cups full of hot tea, I saw him glancing at the plasma TV, looking to the frozen paused picture of himself with Jeremy Renner, right in the beginning of the movie, when Loki turns Hawkeye into a really hot but mean guy. I smirked sadly and putted down the bucket, and handed one of the cups. He accepted it without leaving the screen in front of him. Tears rushed down his face and I couldn’t do anything else than wait for him to tell what happened, something really wrong had really happened, and I could almost guess what it was.
I gently glimpsed to his hands and found the ring on his hand.
Well, if the ring was on…
Oh-my-god, my heart squeezed inside my own chest, and I dragged myself to the sofa, imagining the worse scenario. I couldn’t bear, no… she…
I breathe slowly and rested my hands on my knees. Could feel the nauseous on my mouth closely to drive off and fall out. I drank a little of my Earl Grey tea and glanced at Tom again, couldn’t wait for him to tell me what had happened, but had no choice but wait for him to be prepared to spill it all out.
Finally, when everything seemed ready to be flushed off my stomach, he looked at me, and in a glance, he quickly squeezed me into a hug. Quickly, my neck got wet with his sticky tears. His heart was bumping out and fasting up as never before.
What had just happened? I could feel my arms burning even though my face was getting pale and I was starting to shiver… I waited for him to take his time belonging in my arms… Wish that could be in another time… And then he moved back and hide his eyes on his face, and again, with no warning he looked to his ring-finger and smiled a really awfully and sad smile.
“No point of having this here anymore, I think…” he said.
I opened up my eyes in shock… my heart pumped even faster…
“She… err…” he breathe a little bit slow and then talked again. “Lindsay broke up with me.”
I shrugged back to the sofa and I leaned right to the pillow behind me. Tom had just put up this sad face, he was clearly upset with the thought of Lindsay and him no longer together, in a relationship that everyone thought and said to be perfect and divine.
They were a couple for almost 3 years now, and for all I knew, he was starstrucked by her since they got to know each other. When they weren’t together, because of his schedule and her work, they would call each other and stay in current contact with one another all day long, there wasn’t a day that Tom wouldn’t call her to tell her how much he missed her, and there wasn’t a day that she would just text him some really funny texts with some really sexy images and phrases that would bring him over the hedge. I was the one presenting them. Unfortunately I had no idea I would fall for him after David broke up with me that terrible and grotesque night when he said that he met another girl named Ivana.
Tom sipped a little bit of the Earl Grey tea on his Loki cup and looked around; it seemed that finally the movie that was on the plasma screen was no longer interesting to him. I shook my head with my crazy ideas. Had no idea what to say to him. What should we say when our best friend breaks up with your other best friend, who you happen to have a crush on?
“I had this all arranged… I was going to… I mean, we went to the Shard tower, and had this all planned…” his words were coming out of his mouth the most hard way possible, it looked like he cut himself while talking. “We were going to the last floor and I was going to ask her to marry me and…”
My heart trembled with the thought of seeing him getting married with Lindsay, never ever thought about them together with a ring in each other’s hand that meant more than compromised, but marriage. I sipped a bit of tea and looked to his bluish eyes, trying to find some words that could make him believe that everything would be fine.
“I-I didn’t know you were going to… err… to propose to her…” I said trying not to look nervously with the thought of them married with each other.
“I did…”
I almost spitted my tea. Carefully, I placed a hand near my lips and brushed the tea off my face.
I looked right back at him and found him crying all over again. I felt so bad that moment that I almost cried too. I shrugged him for a hug and closely warmed him up while I felt his arms trembling near mine.
“She said no…”
Usually I would dress on my sarcastic mood and say something offensive or funny, but right then, I had to be careful with the words I was going to say, after all, he was the man I loved for 2 years now, who, my best girlfriend just broke up with. I breathe slowly feeling my inner bones getting tight with the image of them together in an altar… was it wrong for me to feel a little bit happy to know that they broke up?
“Maybe she’s cold feet…”
He shrugged off and looked at me with his deep blue eyes.
“No… Trust issues…”
“Ahm?”
“Trust issues, she said.”
“She has trust issues?!”
“Yes, she saw these pictures with Scarlett and one with my ex… and one with you…”
“Lord, how many pictures do you have with girls?”
“Well… You guys are my friends…”
“Girls!” I corrected.
“Ahm?!”
“You said guys… I don’t really know about Scarlett and Sus, but I didn’t change my vagina for a penis…”
“In a normal day I would say I wanted to check if that was true…”
“Yes… and in a normal day I would punch you right on the nose right after!”
He faked a smile.
“You know, I really like her…” Tom said looking to the plasma TV again.
“Yeah, I know… but, err… She never told me she had problem trusting you. I mean, we are best friends… I honestly think that she got all surprised and didn’t really know what to do…”
He was looking nervously at the ring that was hanging on his own hand. We could hear the sound of the rain outside, it really seemed that the weather was crying out for him. Even though I was feeling compassion for him, I had this terrible feeling of happiness, at the same time I was feeling cold-blooded, after all he was my best friend, but… I grabbed his hand and hanged on it while tears came down from his eyes falling out on his grey jumper. Finally he had stopped shivering, and I just hoped that those tears ended up for good, I seriously didn’t like seeing him that way.
“And I… she asked me to stop for a while and to try theater again, and so I did… I’m doing this play in two months, and… Why does this has to happen to me all the time?” he asked with his voice trembling and tears falling all again from his eyes.
“Tom…”
“No! I mean…” he jumped off the sofa angry with his fists closed getting pale with all the strength he was using to close them. “I’m so fucking done, you know… it’s the second time a girl hands-me-down. What the hell!”
I stood quiet looking at the TV, I knew well enough that if I stood up I would end up hearing some things I didn’t really want to hear. The frozen picture in the TV was as quiet as me. I bit my lip looking at Loki, that mischief god portrayed by my friend was well enough different than the guy who was standing beside me angry and tense. The god on the television was angry but happy, and did everything he could to subjugate everyone around The guy beside me was blue and didn’t really seem like the kind of guy that would change his ways… but all the sudden, 2 minutes passed, Tom looked at me, I could feel his eyes watching me closely while I looked closer to Jeremy Renner’s butt…
“And you…” his voice showed more than sadness… rage, I reminded. “You!”
I breathe slowly; I knew what was coming now… I was prepared for that a long time ago.
“Three! I miscalculated it. You!” he yelled, pointing one of his fingers directly to my face. “You!”
I didn’t say a thing, I gently sipped a little bit of tea and inhale again, afraid of what was coming next.
“You and them… You all rejected me…”
I closed my eyes feeling my eyes starting to shiver and to feel the hardness of the formulating tears that were developing inside.
“Curious… Sus said she wasn’t ready to get married, Lindsay said she had trust issues and you… you, my friend, if I well remember, said you weren’t in the «mood» to date an older man…”
“Why did all the sudden the discussion point turned to me?!” I almost exploded.
“’Cause you were the one that didn’t really had the need to lie…” he said.
“I never lied…” I whispered.
“If you weren’t in love with me, why wouldn’t you say so… why did you felt the need to say such a stupid lie…”
“Look, Tom…” I stood up. “I never lied to you, I was…”
“Were you in love with me, then?”
“I…”
“Were you?!”
“Tom, I seriously don’t think this is the right time to discuss this!”
“Were you?” he repeated the question looking deeply in my brown eyes.
“Tom, please, I…”
“For fucking sake, Mafalda! Were you?!” he said, striking his foot on the floor and looking me in the face, as if he was ready to hit on the wall.
I was feeling great at that point, but all the sudden my mood changed and I could only feel my tears splashing on the floor before I even realized he was looking at me with his mouth opened and his blue eyes staring and with his face pale as a bright white wall.
“I’m so sorry, Maffie, I…”
“Leave me the hell alone. You come all the way here to cry out all about your little girlfriend which happens to be my best friend, who I introduced you to, and you…”
“I am terrible sorry, I… I don’t know what…”
“You know what? I wasn’t lying! I wasn’t!”
“I am…” he walked to me, but I walked off to the kitchen area.
“How can you… I could have rejected you, which I didn’t… I only reject garbage, and you’re not garbage! I told you no because I didn’t want to! But I have never left you behind! I stood by your side every single day, every single hour, just like I am now, Tom. How dare you pointing me a finger saying that I rejected you, when in true, Sus was the one leaving you behind?”
“I am terrible sorry, Mafalda. I just… I think I just got frustrated.”
“Do you know what is frustrating too, Tom? You coming here crying on my shoulder and right after asking me this awful questions about me and you, making me believe I’m guilty!”
“But you’re not…” he walked to me again…
I stood up crying with my hands on the kitchen counter, washing my hands all over again and looking down to the floor trying to exhale and inhale. He appeared behind me and gently put one of his hands on my shoulder and grabbed my hip with the other pulling me close to him. The thought of having him behind me made me quiver. I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip, trying to rush all those feelings away. He was there, near me, nearby, why couldn’t I jump for a kiss, and give it a try, after all, Lindsay was no longer with him, and I loved him with all my heart…
He turned me to him and hugged me close, kissing me on the cheek and whispering «I’m so sorry» to my hear.
“I’m really sorry, I sometimes act like a…” he confessed burying his face on my neck.
“It’s not fair, Tom… I have always been here… Always! I never turned my back on you…”
“I know. That’s why I feel so damn confused with everything… I really liked you.” He whispered softly.
What should make me smile, made me cry even more, the thought was there, I really had lost him for real and him crying in my neck made me realize he was no longer interested in me.
“But this isn’t about me, Thomas. This is about Lindsay!” I cried on his shoulder.
“Not your fault…”
“No, not at all…” I said giving up from the hug and pulled him away slightly.
“Please… accept my apologies…” he said looking at me doing that crazy puppy dog face.
I smiled tenderly and nodded while pulling the tears away from my cheek with a Kleenex.
“Only if you make me company while watching the Avengers…”
“Oh, lord… can’t we just watch another movie? Like, Kill Bill or a DeNiro movie…”
“For all I know, it’s you burden right now to make me happy for everything you said tonight, so you have to please me. So, excuse me…” I ran off the kitchen, “We are going to watch the God of mischief; since he doesn’t really say those bad things to people he loves…”
“You know that he kills people and subjugates them…” he continued.
“Well, true! But at least he didn’t make his best friend cry…”
“Maybe because he doesn’t really have friends…”
Thomas looked at me with a smirk and sat on the couch, while I was sipping more hot tea on the cups, and heating some other popcorn, since the ones I made before were already un-tasty. Finally got back to the sofa and sat down. Tom pulled me for a hug and we stood there, quite, while I drank a bit of tea and he ate some popcorns. And, finally, the movie was playing again. I sat back, feeling his hands on my shoulders.
There was silence inside the room, we could only listen to the rain splashing outside, making the perfect scenario for a really romantic and beautiful night, with a blanket, a lover, a sofa, popcorn and tea, for all I knew, this could be one of my very first days starting a brand new relationship with Tom, the problem was that I knew well enough that he wasn’t over Lindsay and wouldn’t be for a long time.
That curly blond hair boy was stubborn and wouldn’t give up on his love that fast, so I had no time to dream anymore, he was a past my past, our past. i gently pulled to him and rested my head on his shoulder feeling his lips on my forehead, once again I gained the feeling of wanting to feel his lips on mine. Never had the opportunity to kiss him, well, honestly, I did had various of opportunities, but I always pulled him off… and now, ironically, I was the one who wanted to feel his kisses.
The dark room continued silently while the «bang» from the DVD sound system appeared on the columns. I was so damn interested on watching the movie, for the 7th time, right on that part where Loki freezes the road and a car slides down, that I didn’t really hear what Tom asked. He kept on talking but his black straight hair on that movie fell perfectly on his back, and the seeing everyone kneeling in front of him made me divagate with crazy and insane ideas. I was in serious need of rigid psychologist treatment. I had Loki by my side, and if I didn’t had the chance to meet him before he made that appearance I would have probably ended up being a fanatic fan of him… Well, at least I had the pleasure of being a fan before he even started appearing on Hollywood.
And there was I, Tom talking and I saying all his dialogues in the movie…
“Have you ever thought?” he asked.
I didn’t listen…
“Maffie!”
“Ooh, sorry.” I looked at him. “Thought about what?”
“Me and you…”
“No!”
«Yes! Always…»
“You?!” I asked.
“Always…” he said kissing my cheek.


Última edição por CatariinaG' em Sex Dez 07, 2012 8:48 pm, editado 1 vez(es)

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Re: Don't Judge Me [+18]

Mensagem por Fox* em Sex Dez 07, 2012 6:55 pm

Oh, "always" é uma palavra tão bonita...
Ok, comentário sobre este capítulo: é interessante como as tuas personagens ou se odeiam ao início ou estão destinadas a sofrer imenso até conseguirem estar com quem realmente desejam.
Apesar da namorada/futura noiva ter acabado com ele, o que é um ponto a favor, o Tom não pode ficar com a Mafalda porque ainda sente algo pela ex que, possivelmente, irá entrar em modo má para tentar destruir qualquer futura relação que possa existir entre eles!
E mais uma fic para a coleção :)

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Re: Don't Judge Me [+18]

Mensagem por CatariinaG' em Sex Dez 07, 2012 8:43 pm

Chapter 2

I grabbed my cellphone right on my side and looked to the watch on it - 1 am.
We had fell asleep on the coach.
I looked to my front to see the main menu right on the television in repeat.
I tried to find the remote control but all I could get was Tom’s legs under my head and neck. I smiled at the view, and just wished I could wake up every single day with that sightseeing near me. That would be more than perfect, that would be a dream, I thought. There he was, laid down on the sofa with his eyes closed, dreaming of something I didn’t know what.
Finally found the lost remote. Carefully, I placed my hands between his legs, the remote was right there. I put one of my hands on my mouth to make sure no sound would come out. That space between my hand and his legs was so warm I could feel it burning. Slowly, I took the remote off and pointed to the television to clear the image, then I tried to lift myself from the sofa, but right when I was about to stand up I fell on top of him, making him moan with pain or anger, or both.
I putted my hand on my mouth again and smirked a bit before I apologized.
“I’m so sorry…” I whispered while trying hard not to laugh.
He looked profoundly in my eyes and made this huge smile of his.
“Can’t imagine how wonderful it may be to wake up by your side every day…” he joked. “Do you wake up your boyfriends that way?”
“No, I wake them up by…” I thought before I could say the rest. “They deserve better treatment than you do!” I smiled. “Anyway…” I threw him a hand to help pulling him off the sofa. “We fell asleep…”
“I can tell…” he sneered.
The lights on the living room were off; I could barely see more than what the light of my Galaxy allowed. I coughed a bit before feeling Tom’s arms near me. I jumped of the sofa, prepared to start cleaning all that mess before going to get some sleep, but Tom pulled me to him and hugged me closely and said something while kissing my cheek.
“I’ll help you tomorrow with that…” he said.
“So, you intend on sleeping here?” I asked while brushing my eyes with my hands.
“Err, are you expecting me to go and sleep in my house while my ex-wife-to-be is there?”
“Ehh… I’m not bothered to respond. Too tired… Can I leave it for tomorrow?” I asked smirking.
I went directly to one of the column and lighted the area. Tom was wearing this massive sleepy look on his face, which was incredible sweet and heart-breaking… Before that, I would probably jump off on the sofa smiling and laughing but had no really will to do that, not after falling asleep on the coach with Tom Hiddleston as my pillow.
I stood quiet and pointed a finger on the direction to my room, thinking about what I was going to say.
“The guest room is a mess!” I held. “I would offer you my bed, but I’m sleeping there, so… you have the living room, the floor, the bathtub, the rug… or my room, the floor of my room…” I said suddenly when he raised his eyebrows up to me and grinned.
“Well, I will take your offer…”
As I said, I had no intention about inviting him to sleep with me, but I was numb enough to look at him confused.
“Your bed it is!” he said leaving the coach behind and getting in front of me.
“My bed?” I asked. “I said the floor… not my…”
Tom looked at me with this weird look. He scowled his eyebrows…
“Ooh, whatever!” I said shaking my body and going directly to my bedroom.
I was in a terrible needing of a good night sleep, hadn’t slept well for three days, now… so, having him near me wasn’t really something I would care enough to say no. Hell… Couldn’t sleep because I was nervous and couldn’t think of something else before presenting my last graduation work, which was going to be presented to a jury on the follow week and I wasn’t prepared, even though I studied it for about two weeks now, and still I wasn’t sure about it.
My written presentation was over the top, or so as my teacher said, one of the best on my class. But self-esteem wasn’t a great characteristic of mine, so I wasn’t so sure about the oral presentation; I hated talking to an audience. Talking in front of a great audience always made me quiver and shiver and feel anxious. The feeling that everyone was expecting the best from me wasn’t helping now that the oral presentation was the only grade I needed to finish my Creative Writing course.
Hopefully the jury considered my oral presentation «ok»… Yes, «ok» was fine for me, I didn’t want more than an «ok»… I would sleep like an angel after being sure my presentation was no less than «ok». But, until the results were out, I was going to suffer hell enough, wouldn’t be able to sleep, oh not at all!
I walked directly into my bedroom and didn’t care about lighting it up; I knew the way to my bed. Tom’s problem if he didn’t know where the bed was, he could deal with it. I would probably say that he needed luck on the finding after all, my room was a jumble and I wasn’t quite sure if my bed didn’t follow that exact same path. And I didn’t care, too tired and too miserable to care.
He followed me and when I laid down he looked around, unable to see anything. His iPhone was his matter of luck, he clicked on the side and a light came out from it.
“Do you ever tidy up this room?”
“Yes! Sure do… When my best friend tells me beforehand that his sleeping around!” I said laying down and pulling the covers up to my neck.
The bed moved a little bit with his weight, and instantly I closed my. I felt his arms and his chest close to my back, and before he could even say anything, I jumped off, picked up a pillow from the floor and put it behind me, between his length and my butt.
Tom clicked again on the side of his iPhone and pointed to the pillow that was right on his front.
“Goodnight!” I said.
“Ehh, goo… Why would you… Maffie, I…”
“R.E.M!” I said pulling my hair back and falling right on top of the pillow. “The blood circulation increases when you’re dreaming… I don’t want to feel your boner in my butt! That’s a precaution…”
“That’s ridiculous!” he said laughing. “Wait…”
“Tom, please… I’m trying to sleep here…”
“No, quick question… Does that mean that your thingy will swallow too?”
“Good night!”
“Maffie?!”
“Yes, it will! But you won’t be able to feel my thingy. In the other hand…”
«I will have the pleasure to feel yours and I don’t want to feel it and then having to say goodbye to it before I could even say hi…»
“In the other hand…” he continued, little did he know that I was already asleep, hard as a rock.
One hour passed by and my eyes were only closed. Couldn’t sleep, not with that much excitement of having Tom right by my side, and the fact that I had to study hard the presentation or else I was damned!
My head burned out with crazy and sinister thoughts, imagining Hiddleston awake trying to fight his boner off while thinking about kissing me and forgetting the world for a moment or two. Well seen, I don’t quite think he got rid of his turned on situation if he was thinking about kissing me…
Not even for a moment I shook those thoughts out of my mind, I couldn’t… I started to feel burning inside and I could only breathe in and breathe out as a response, while I felt the bed moving with Tom’s movements.
I looked beside me, where he was laid down. If just the rules of friendship were easier and if I could only say what I really felt for him without pushing him away from me… Everything would turn out so much easier if I wasn’t afraid of losing him as a friend.
I knew well enough he wasn’t going to be able to forget Lindsay that easily, and I knew he wasn’t the type of man to get involved with his best friend just to forget his ex. And even though I felt the desire and the lust, I didn’t want to ruin anything, so I hold on tight on my bed space and looked to the ceiling remembering a spoof the Backstreet Boys made once about the music «Dancing in the ceiling…» and before I could joke about that, Lindsey image stopped by my mind and I shivered…
I had to stop!
Tom was a dream, a past!
And as if the hell that night wasn’t already enough for me, the doorbell rang and I looked to my Galaxy W - 2 AM… Who the hell was…
My eyes opened up in an astonishment moment realizing that I knew exactly who was outside trying to reach me. I lifted my head and my whole body, dressed something warm and ran to the front door, didn’t even thinking about who was sleeping next to me.
I lifted the telephone on the monitor and saw Lindsey standing outside with her eyes full of black melted mascara. My heart fell two floors before I could forget anything about what I thought of me and Tom together as a couple.
“Co-come up!” I said ignoring my agony.
She appeared in front of me in about three minutes. Her face was a disaster, her clothes were soaking wet and her hair was no longer the blond hair I once wished to have. She hugged me when I opened the door.
“He-he…”
“Come in…” I interrupted knowing well enough what she was going to say.
“Tom…”
“Do you want some tea?!” I asked.
I had no idea if it was better for me to run away from my own apartment or to pretend that I was alone at home and no one else was around, only me, myself and I.
“No… I-I went home and Tom isn’t there…” she said trembling.
“Oh, dear…” I’m not a great actress… I’m no actress at all!
“He-he…”
“Maybe he went to see a friend…”
“No… No, he…” Lindsey was crying like there was no tomorrow. I closed the door behind her and rushed off to the kitchen pulling my friend’s hand with me.
“You have to calm yourself, or else I won’t be able to understand what you’re saying…”
“I… We fought…”
“Err, you, ehh… Really?”
“He broke up with me!”
And then the confusion got settled on my head.
What the hell?
I looked at her greyish eyes trying to look for an expression that showed me if she was lying or being honest. But the only thing I could recognize on her face was her black mascara rushing down her face while her tears splashed on the kitchen table.
I wasn’t so sure about who was lying and who was telling the true. Whoever was lying had to be stupid to the point of forgetting that I was able to see and to understand a lie 5 miles away.
My thoughts bombed my head and I wasn’t sure who was telling the true now and who was being stupid to tell me such a lie…
Lindsey or Tom? Who was the one breaking up?
While trying to find who was telling the truth and who was lying I filled the kettle and waited for it to get hot to make a cup of chamomile tea.
“What happened?” I engaged to ask.
“We-he… He broke up, with no explanation…” she cried.
I lifted my head, with my hands on the black counter and looked at the white wall in front of me. Whoever was lying wasn’t making a good job. Those were my two best friends; I was going to know the truth either way…
I breathe slowly and tried to find a way to ask her anything without giving her the information that her ex-boyfriend was sleeping in my own bed.
“I think he has someone else…” she finally said in a hitch.
I swallowed a dry fear.
“No… he couldn’t have…” I said filling a cup with the hot tea.
“I… He broke up and then he disappeared… he’s not in the house…”
“Maybe he went for a drink… How long have you been out of the house?” I asked.
“I went directly here…” she said… “We left the Shard at half past midnight…
And then everything made sense…
She was lying! He was in my house since 11.
Even though I found the liar, even though I was expecting to feel better now, my heart didn’t really felt that way, I felt sick, sad and I was so confused that I could barely drink the tea that was on the cup in front of me. I gazed at Lindsey while she sipped a little bit of her tea.
Lindsey looked around to the living room… and, just when I realized that Tom’s clothes were on the floor, she glanced at me again and opened her mouth in a totally moment of tremor. Her eyes opened up to the limit and I felt my insides twirl and twist.
I was so doomed now!
“What the…” she stood up. “Why would… You fucking liar!” she absorbed.
“Lindsey… I…”
“You bitch! You lying, lying bitch!” she said walking to the living room and lifting the clothes of the floor.
My eyes trembled and I felt a tear coming out of my left eyes.
This wasn’t my night, no it wasn’t!
“I knew you fancied him, but never thought you dared to steal him away from me…”
“Lindsey, I’m…”
“You are such a bitch. You knew all along… he’s been here since…” she exclaimed. “Oh-my-god! How could you do this to me?”
“Linny…”
“Don’t you dare calling me that!” she pointed a finger at me. “Where is he?” she asked looking around.
I buried my face on my hands shaking hard and feeling blue enough to throw myself out of the window.
“You’re such a bitch!” she exclaimed. “You know he doesn’t like you! He told me… He hates you… he always… he… You fucked up bitch!”
And all the sudden, she went on my direction and with a flick of her hand she was prepared to hit me with all her force.
“The only one who’s acting like a crazy bitch it’s you, Lindsey!”
His manly voice appeared on the living room. I lifted my head…
In a normal day I would so jump to the coach, eat some popcorns and wait to see what was coming next, but now I was in that movie and I just wanted to get out of it.
“You…” she looked.
“How the hell do you dare to put those words on my mouth? I have never said such things about Mafalda… I’ve never in my life said such a thing! Never! And by the way… don’t you think it’s damn late to be pointing fingers when you were the one breaking up with me?”
“Well, I can see did right!” she crossed her arms.
“Lindsey, I…”
“Shut up, bitch!” she interrupted me.
“Lindsey, get out!” Tom said.
“Why?! Am I interrupting your fuck moment?”
“Lindsey, me and Tom didn’t…”
“Shut up!” she slammed her foot on the floor.
I closed my eyes feeling my knees weak.
“You fucking bitch, how do you dare stealing Tom from me? I always knew you wanted him, you stupid cunt…”
And that was the end of the line.
No words or acts could have stopped me from what was coming next.
Without even thinking about it, with no warning at all either, I walked towards her, ignoring the look on Tom’s face, and slapped Lindsey’s face as hard as I could. She could have called me every single name in the book, every single expression in the dictionary, but that last one was the limit. No one calls me cunt, no one!
I felt my hand burning just like my eyes and my face and my whole body for the perception that came aside: I wasn’t the doll they thought I was. I wasn’t one of those stupid girls that would get quiet while hearing defamation about themselves. I wasn’t the type of person to stand and listen to someone calling me a cunt when I knew I wasn’t one!
I was a bitch. Damn yes, I was a fucking bitch… But I wasn’t a slut!
“Get out!” I said with my voice low.
Lindsey put her hand on her red side face trying to kill the pain.
“How dare you…”
“Get out!” I repeated.
“Tom, how can you not…”
“Just do what she said…”
“You both…”
“There is no «you both» Lindsey, now get out!”
“You fucked my boyfriend…”
“Ex-boyfriend!” Tom said. “You broke up with me four hours ago…”
“Of course, and because you love me as dearly as you said you o, you came over here to fuck my best friend…”
And my hand slapped her face again.
“You bitch!” she pitched.
“Oh yes I’m a bitch, Lindsey! But I’m no slut and no one fucks me! Now get out before I call the cops…”
She faked a smile and laughed.
“Do it then…”
“Oh! I will, Lindsey. Get out!”
“You’re so going to pay for this…”
“Why don’t you just call the Avengers? Better yet… Call Loki, I’m sure he will mischief me all the way!”
Tom laughed at the joke but my tears didn’t allow me to laugh at my own idiot joke.
“Get out!” Tom repeated walking towards her.
“I love…”
“Go, Lindsey… Now!”

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CatariinaG'
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Re: Don't Judge Me [+18]

Mensagem por Fox* em Ter Dez 18, 2012 11:35 pm

Bem, que noite mais comprida! Quando as coisas não poderiam piorar, aparece a ex para apimentar mais o drama em que a protagonista se meteu! Pergunto-me porque mentiu sabendo que a Maffie é amiga dos dois e iria descobrir os esquemas mais cedo ou mais tarde...
Aqui há gato! :)

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